Stop Calling Me Bunny, Ponyboy
by Redd Dawn
Summary: Wolfwood won't stop calling Vash's special friend the wrong name, and that makes her angry. Lame summary, you'll jst have to read to get the gist. rated T for language, violence, and induendos


**This story came from boredom and my parents watching Trigun. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except Kitty. Idefinatly own her Sexy Ass.**

**Stop Calling Me Bunny, Pony-boy!**

**A Seriously Strange Story By:**

**Redd Dawn**

Her name was Katherine Masters. But most people didn't know that though. Most people just knew her as Kitty, because that's how she introduced herself to her clients, because they didn't pay to know her name, they paid for her services. You see, Kitty was a hooker. Or at lest she used to be a hooker. But I'm getting ahead of myself, and I bet your wondering how this ties into the strange and eventful lives of Vash the Stampede and Nicholas Wolfwood. If I can manage to keep myself on track, I will soon get to that.

So, Kitty was a hooker. Actually, hooker is too generic a word. A better term would be high class paid escort, because Kitty was very good at her job. That doesn't mean she was a bad person though. It also doesn't mean she was some sissy girl who could only do business on her back. In fact, she was quite good with a gun. But a series of unfortunate events which I have been too lazy to think up led her to the oldest profession. Basically, my point is, she was one of the best in the business. But she's not any more. Because she quit. And she quit because she was the best. And that makes sense because since she was so good, she was hired as a thank you present for a certain spiky hared blonde gunslinger who had recently saved the town in which Kitty currently lived. And she took quite a fancy to this spiky hared blonde gunslinger. And then she helped him save the town again, and she got to use a gun for the first time in years, and she liked it, and her job was now too boring, so she quit and stated stalking Vash the stampede.

Vash had mixed feelings about this. He did really like Kitty because she was beautiful, compassionate, an extremely good shot, and for other reasons I will not disclose here because my mom might read this and if she dose, I'll be in enough trouble for the all the times I've written the word 'hooker'. But on the other hand, she scared the hell out of him. Kitty was more that a bit over bearing, kind of pushy, and could kick the living crap out of him. But she was also very persistent, and handy to have around in case of a fight, so he eventually gave up most of his resistance.

Wolfwood reacted strangely to this. I'm not exactly sure why, but here are the top three most likely reasons:

Wolfwood is a "Priest", and Kitty being an ex-hooker is a moral no-no for a friend of such a "Priest".

Wolfwood was jealous of Vash, because Kitty is pretty hot

Wolfwood was jealous of Kitty, because he is secretly in love with Vash

Anyway, for whatever reason, Wolfwood wasn't exactly nice to Kitty, which brings me into my actual story.

…………

Kitty was starting to get annoyed. Really annoyed. But she wasn't giving in to her annoyance. Because she was pretty much in love with Vash, for some strange reason that she wasn't even sure about. And the root of her annoyance, one Nicholas D. Wolfwood, was pretty much Vash's best friend, and she didn't want to hurt Vash's feeling by beating his friend to a pulp. So she was trying very hard not to louse her temper. She did not know how much longer she could hang on. Wolfwood was doing the most annoying thigh he could possibly be doing. He would not stop calling her 'Bunny'. "Um, mister Wolfwood, my name is not Bunny. It's Kitty."

"Oh, sorry about that, I just get confused so easily," Wolfwood said, smiling around his cigarette. He didn't say anything else, and Kitty hoped, vainly of course, or else this story would kind of suck, that that was the end of it.

At lest fifteen minutes passed. The two of them were sitting at the counter of the inn they were staying in with Vash, patiently waiting for said gunslinger to come down to breakfast. Kitty began to think that maybe he couldn't come down. She was trying to remember if she had untied him after last night or not. This morning, she certainly thought she had, but now, she was beginning to wonder. She hoped she had. If Vash woke up still tied to the bedposts, he would never let her tie him up again. While she was thinking these thoughts, Wolfwood turned to her and said, "Hey, Bunny, what the do you think he's doing up there?"

Kitty ground her teeth to stop from shouting. "I have no idea, Mr. Wolfwood, and please, my name is Kitty," she said, barely keeping control of her anger.

"I'm sorry Bunny- I mean- Oh I'm sorry, I did it again! I swear, sometimes, I can be an idiot! Bunny, what will I ever- Oh my! I gone and done it again, I'm so very sorry Bunny—"

Wolfwood's tirade had finally pushed Kitty over the edge. She stood, tipping over her stool, and grabbing Wolfwood by the collar. She then preceded to slam the silly and unfortunate priest into his own stool. "Stop calling me Bunny, Pony-boy!" she screamed. Where exactly she came up with pony-boy, I have absolutely no idea, and I'm pretty sure Kitty doesn't ether.

Vash the Stampede, the Humanoid Typhoon, the $$6,000,000,000 man himself, came down the stairs at that exact moment, singing some weird and happy song. Kitty had untied him after all. The reason he had taken so long to come down to breakfast was simply because his girlfriend slash stalker had worn him out. He had been sleeping for most of the morning. Of course the first thing he saw was his girlfriend slash stalker holding his terrified friend by the collar. Vash stopped for a moment, and then went to the counter and ordered his breakfast.

Kitty looked quizzically at the object of her strange and maniacal obsession, and said, "Vash, I'm standing over what is apparently your best friend with the obvious intention of beating him to a pulp. Aren't you just the lest bit upset?"

Vash looked down at the two of them. Them he turned to his breakfast and shrugged his shoulders. "I'm sure he's had whatever you're going to do to him coming for a long time." And with that he began to eat.

Kitty slowly turned her head back to Wolfwood's terrified face. A slow and evil smile crept across her face. She let go of the priest and stepped back. "I like to chase people," she said in a voice that was somehow much more terrifying than her furious shrieks. "So I'm going to give you a three sound headstart."

"Wh-What? I don't- Vash!" Wolfwood stammered, not knowing quite how to handle this situation.

"Three seconds are up!" Kitty said maniacally, and rushed at the extremely unfortunate priest. Vash finshed his breakfast happiuly as his girlfriend slash stalker beat his friend to a pulp. And kitty did a very thourgh job, too.

"SAY MY NAME PONY-BOY!!!!!"

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, KITTY, KITTY!!!!! JUST PLESE STOP HITTING ME!!!!!!"

After this pleasant and sunny morning, Mister Nicholas D. Wolfwood never failed to call Vash's girlfriend slash stalker Miss Kathrine, and Kitty never failed to call the gunslinging priest Pony-boy.


End file.
